irishyankee (irishyankee) wrote in night_auditors,

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Shine on, You Crazy Diamond

Diamond: a crystal form of carbon, formed under intense heat and pressure rivalling the very fires of the ninth circle of hell itself. Prized for its beauty and value, all diamonds contain flaws in their hearts caused by the very infernal forces which gave rise to it's creation.
the Encyclopedia Absolute, Dunnwitch Press, 1899

Background: Overnight Manager / Night Auditor at a large chain hotel in the bluest state.

I had such a guest last night, one we are all very familiar with at my hotel: here, for your enjoyment is part of my shift report to management this morning:

I had the distinct pleasure (?) experience of having an entire series of telephone calls between 11:00 (when Swing desk and Phone operator both left and Midnight when other Auditor arrived) from Diamond Guest Mr. Ima Twit, Room 1016. Mr. Twit was insisting that ‘you people shut off my internet!’ I was attempting to help him, and tried to explain that in fact we have no control locally at all, and calling network operations at ISP would actually be the quickest and most efficient method of solving his problem. Mr. Twit insisted that I was not to transfer him to anyone; he wanted me to fix the issue immediately from the front desk. While I was having this conversation, the phones (forwarded out front) kept ringing: he refused to allow me to put him on any type of hold, and wanted me to reconnect him *NOW*! After about 5 minutes, he would reconnect and allow me to go on to other tasks. By the fourth call, as I was checking in a party of 3 rooms onto the 8th floor, he called again. He was very angry, accused me of playing with the internet ‘just to be funny’, and was generally the font of anger we have become accustomed to. I finally convinced him to allow me to call ISP on his behalf, and see if we can get the problem resolved for him. He was very sullen, and told me that ‘Since you don’t have the time to help me, I expect your Manager to call me in the morning. You be sure to tell him just who I am!” I assured him that I did indeed know exactly who he was, and would make the proper people aware of his situation.

I called ISP, and spoke to their Network Administrator: he checked the system, and told me he wasn’t seeing any specific issues with the connection to that room. He then offered to try and assist the guest directly: I thanked him, put him on hold and called Mr. Twit back. I explained that I had the Network Administrator on the phone, that this is the person who actually has the ability to help him, and would he care to speak to him to see if we could get this issue resolved. He grudgingly consented, after again telling me to ‘make sure I hear from a Manager!' I then completed the transfer.

About 20 minutes later, I called ISP back to find out what happened. A different associate answered the phone, and told me the guest had declined troubleshooting assistance. She was able to share with me the actual problem was with the configuration settings on his computer: while not really their issue, they were willing to try to help. She also mentioned that he was downright rude and abusive rather abrupt with them as well. I thanked them on our behalf, and then started documenting tonight’s events.

I did establish a ‘Non-Revenue’ Service Recovery, and also initiated a 2500 point service recovery. Rather than attempt to speak to him live again, I prepared a suitable note (see attachment) and personally delivered it to his suite by sliding it under his door at 3:00 a.m.

Good Luck. I do not know what else I could have done: some people just do not want to be helped! I know you will be able to handle him, (FOM), however, as a precaution I am copying this to (GM) as an FYI because it somehow would not surprise me if this particular guest decided to go ‘straight to the top’. I suggest you review his details page in (Database) before speaking to him: he certainly seems to know what he thinks he wants! /excerpt

If only I had the powers other ascribe to me!

Crossposted to my journal, and appropriate communities
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